This is me right now.
Everything is hard, nothing is coming easy and I am having to be on my toes and quite frankly, I’m just plumb give out. I casually mentioned a couple of posts ago that my dishwasher had a seal go bad and had been slowly leaking water for God only knows how long. First blush, it looked like the fix would be a small job, the only hard part was getting on the phone and finding a floor guy to come and replace an area of about 3’x3’ in the wood flooring…which I have the wood from a previous wood flooring injury to the house…and then finding a cabinetry fella to come out and repair/replace the trim on the end bookcase cabinet on the end if my kitchen island.
I did find a cabinetry guy willing to do a small job, he came and removed one of the end pieces so he could match the wood and lo & behold…mold.
He removed all the pieces of the trim and there is mold all the way around the bottom of the island bookcase. Also, once the trim was removed, you can clearly see the bookcase has been soaking up water for awhile, the wood is discolored from water damage. Not only that, but the subflooring is soft as butter. Good grief! Ok, 2 parts to this story:
- The cabinetry man is an older gentleman, more retired than anything. I had explained to him when I first called that this was a very small job. He responded that he liked small jobs. He didn’t want anything more than just replacing the trim around the bottom.
- When we saw the mold, he tried very hard to get me to just spray a little bleach on the wood and let it sit. I balked. I know from mold. And you never, ever get rid of mold. Know what else mold does? It grows. It’s a fungus. And it’s dangerous. In trying to convince me that just a little bleach would do the trick, he went from advising doing a little spray and letting it sit for a minute or two to maybe doing this upwards of 10 times and letting it sit for hours in between. And then maybe even doing some light sanding….
Me: “Please leave.” (Not out loud. Just in my head, to myself.)
Goodness! Know what bleach will do to wood? Upwards of up to 10 times? Letting it sit for hours??? Yup. Destroy the wood, eat right thru it and compromising the bookcase (there’s a granite top, so heavy) but now it would be completely my fault because I listened to some loon who thought that letting bleach sit on wood for hours would be a solid, industry approved mold fix!
I called the Sears MSP insurance rep immediately to advise that we found mold. Now my simple dishwasher’s busted seal water leak has been escalated to a higher team that deals with mold issues…because bodily injury and whatnot. I also called the floor guy to cancel his repair, advising him the subfloor is damaged…(he was happy to hear I wasn’t expecting him to repair that)…and then I called a water disaster restoration company to come in.
This is better. The gentleman I spoke to said he’s dealt with Sears MSP many, many times and is very comfortable working with them. And good, now I’ve got one invoice to submit to Sears’ insurance…or even better, I’m wondering if this guy bills Sears direct…either way. I’ve got a pro company who’s business is just this and can get my kitchen fixed. I just don’t know what that will take. More later. I’m done speculating how big a job that will be. (Huge island, all of it topped in granite. Huge job)
It rained all day last Thursday so that kept the guys coming back and working on the backyard. Friday everything was soaked thru, they couldn’t work then either. Is snowed a very wet snow yesterday so I didn’t expect anyone back till maybe tomorrow or Wednesday but I hear them out there right now working away. I’m not excited about it anymore, just watching the job proceed. I’m looking forward to the backyard not being a huge mud pit. It will make me very happy to be able to shoo the boys out back when they’re getting too rambunctious for me and not have to either flat out bathe them or give their undersides a good rinse before letting them back into my house. Still in love with them here! (We’re doing our mid-morning nap time right now. They are sooooo cute! Just passed out cold from all the play-play!) Ollie Bear is catching up to Possum in size. He’s going to be bigger than Possum by a few inches.
I will have had Ollie Bear 2 weeks this coming Wednesday. My life is on hold for a bit till he gets a little older. I have to watch him like a hawk. He’s not housebroken, but we’re getting there. I think he’s pretty clear on the concept that Mama doesn’t like him going pee-pee in her house, but sadly, he remembers after the fact! (OH! Right! You like me going outside for this! Sorry!) So I have to keep eyes on him and/or just get him outside every half hour. No sewing for me, and playing the piano is not good. I…tend to not like interruptions when I do those 2 things and right now, getting Ollie Bear house trained is Job 1. So, training Ollie Bear to be fit to live in the house is kinda what I do all day long! He’s a stubborn little guy, too. He’s not taking to “Leave it!” I keep ramping up the training bit by bit. I scold him now when he has accidents or won’t leave a thing alone. But one must walk a fine line. Scold too hard, and puppies will just poop and pee in good hidey places so they don’t get into trouble. Scold just enough to let them know they can do better.
So wow. I hate to write about this but I have to. Thank God I don’t have any followers reading this and I’m just an anonymous person on the interwebs no one knows about (suits me just fine for this one) but I have to get this out.
My brother in law. Alcoholic/substance abuse. He has a penchant for doctors, hypochondriac like you read about…not sure just what all that’s about there. On one hand, I think he needs to be the center of attention and have doctors and nurses fussing over him…on the other, I think part of his drug addiction is prescription drugs…it’s probably both of those and more. Much more. But he is just a mess. 61, no retirment, no money, addled from the drugs and alcohol. Anyone else and he would be on the street. Just not in this family. Not us! I’ve been angrily trying to get R.D. to get tough with him for 20 years. I’ve been screaming for 20 years that this day was coming and someone needed to grab him by the scruff of the neck and put a boot up his behind. Instead, *from MY perspective*, the family at large…enabled him. They would sigh and grouse to one another…but in the end, give him money. The BIL has been this thing in between me & R.D. since day one, practically…and we’ve fought over him. We’ve exchanged words. We’ve argued, we’ve walked away from each other…
But that day that I’ve been yelling about…that day where he would be unable to hold down a job and now it’s up to the family to take him in and care for him…that day is here. It’s today. And for as angry as I’ve been over these past 2 decades…strangely…I’m not mad. I feel a little defeated, it’s always been me against the entire family in choosing how to deal with him. I think that 20 years ago, when we still had time, a small amount of time in a homeless shelter would have gone a long way to get him to clean up. He’s not an idiot. My favorite thing to say about him is he is stupid like a fox. I mean, c’mon! He’s got a habit that would make any skid row bum blush and yet he has a roof over his head, food in the fridge, the lights and heat are on, his payday loans get paid off…he has internet…and all it took for him to provide that was very creative text messages to the family about how he could die if no one sends him money.
Oh…did I mention, in addition to the alcohol and drugs…he has the worst attitude. We call him the Troll that lives under the bridge. He has the nastiest personality. No one will take him in and that is leaving R.D. with some hard decisions. Can’t let him go live on the street. We don’t do that in this family. We’re not those people. “You’re not a burden, you’re my brother.”
And for that…it makes me tear up. That’s the lesson here. No matter what you’ve done, no matter how badly you’ve messed up your life, we will not abandon you, you are blood, we have a bond, we are “family”. It was very, very different in the group of people I was born into and I’ll just leave it at that.
So. It is looking like we are going to have to provide some sort of housing for this BIL. That’s where we are, trying to decide just what kind of houseing to provide. Me: buy him a camper and let him live in that. There’s a subset of population who do just that. I’ve seen the videos. R.D.: his truck is all but broken down. He’ll end up in someone’s driveway and never leave. Let’s look at small houses.
R.D. thinks drawing his Social Security early will cover the BIL expenses. But…what happens if, God forbids, something happens to R.D.? Then the SS goes away. And we’ll be right back to now what do we do with the BIL?
These are very hard things. The BIL is a flawed human being, but a human being nonetheless. And he’s ours. What does it say about us? R.D. says if he lets his brother go live on the street, his mother will come out of her grave and haunt him forever for not helping his little brother.
…again….this is very, very different from everyone I grew up with. ‘Nuff said. I was raised so very differently.
R.D. is a pure American fighting man. He will not leave a man behind. That’s just his ethos. It’s just who he is. It is the man he is. R.D. looks at it and says “It’s just money. Flawed human being that he is, he is my brother.”
I love R.D. I admire him greatly. He will never abandon me. For a woman who grew up with serious abandonment issues, this is big.
~Updates tomorrow. The water damage restoration guys didn’t show. I am rather down about all this. But tomorrow is another day.