Happy St. Valentines Day!
The exclaimation point is just because that’s what one does when acknowledging a holiday. Happy St. Valentines Day. with a period gives off an Eeyore vibe. There’s no in between and all I’m saying here is that today is February 14 and for reasons, I get coffee in bed. From my Valentine. For cause. But…COFFEE!! (Here, the exclaimation point is warranted.)
Some health related issues of late, which by the by, is irritating me no end. I’ve been extremely lucky in that I was blessed with the constitution one refers to as “healthy as a horse” for my entire life, apart from a back surgery that has left me with back issues, that, I must mention, I’ve been able to work around fairly successfully so yeah, all in all, I’ve lived a very good life health-wise. I don’t know if this is just part of growing older and having to slow down or if I have a something.
I broke out with a rash in late October/early November which I thought at the time was…ringworm. Ick. Aaaaannnd…this is the second time. I had this same rash 5 years ago. It took about 2 months to clear up, much longer than it takes to clear up ringworm, but it did eventually go away. Now, I hate going to the doctor like poison. I don’t hate the medical profession, matter of fact, I have a great respect for them, I just don’t want to be in their stratosphere. Like I don’t much fancy hanging out in bingo halls. But now, the rash has returned and 3 months later, Mr. Valentine is insisting I go get it looked at. Long story short, I finally ended up at a dermatologist, who took a biopsy that came back as Pityriasis Rosea, an AutoImmune disease. I don’t know much about that yet, my interwebs research has left me with more questions. But the symptoms are spot on with me. Especially the fatigue.
Now, of everything I’ve read about this condition, it’s the fatigue that’s killing me. I can handle everything else..the itching, the scaling, the rudeness of its appearance…but the fatigue is pushing me over the edge. I’m taking vitamins, and iron pills, we eat extremely healthy…we cook at home (and by “we” I mean Mr. Valentine)…we stay away from processed foods, I exercise…the fatigue is the worst. My sewing machines sit idle, my piano is unplayed, it’s thru the will of the Gods I can just get out of pajamas and into regular clothes…when I can manage that…and the house…?? If my house is not tidy, my entire psyche is in a bad place which just adds to the overall trauma of it. If I had to sum it all up, I feel like I can only charge my batteries up to less than 10% and the least bit of effort drains them back to zero. I cannot get over the hump to a full charge. Worst feeling ever. What is happening to me???
I don’t know how long the fatigue is going to last. Is this the new normal? Is it short term? As the rash itself fades, will I eventually get back to my well-loved, regular routine? At first, with the fatigue, I (of course) thought it was something I could control. Open all the blinds and let the sun in, make myself get up, get dressed and get out to do an enjoyable activity…like go wander thru my favorite antique mall..but all I could think was “I just want to go home and go to bed.” Actually, on that particular trip home, my eyes were closing involuntarily and I could feel myself wanting to drift off..while I was driving on the freeway. Right there and then, I decided that when the fatigue hits hard again, never, ever get behind the wheel of the Jeep.
We planned an RV trip down to Las Vegas because a shot in the arm is all I need, right? Mr. Valentine went shopping, I (slowly) caught up the laundry…and the day we were to leave, I woke up with a ton of dread from just being way to tired to even think about going on a road trip. I didn’t want to get up out of bed. Unfortunately for RD, he woke up with the beginnings of a really bad cold and said there was no way he could manage getting on the road. I was so relieved that I waited on him hand and foot as best as I could. RD gets “Wounded Animal Syndrome” when he gets sick, he will crawl under the porch and either die or get better but prefers to be left alone. I made sure he had soup and whatnot, and managed to take care of Ollie Bear and Possum so he could just be sick.
I’ve an appointment today with my primary for a full physical. I need to get to the bottom of this, and I need to know more about AutoImmune disorders. What if this is also a hormone imbalance? I’ve been checked for that before but the results always come back that I’m in balance for my age. You know, something else, now that I’m trying to put this into words I can tell my primary, but along with the fatigue, I’ve been drifting off a lot. I just go into my own world about a million miles away. Then RD comes along and it startles me back to reality so hard I just jump out of my skin. That’s a weirdness that’s been happening lately, too. I think it’s connected to the fatigue but I don’t know for sure. It’s uncomfortable for him too and I hate that. Problem is, if a medication is prescribed, it’s been my experience that the side effects of meds are worse than the disorder itself. I’m dreading that too.
I have been getting better, even managed to make it into the sewing room, albeit for shorter periods of time than I’m used to but I’m back in there. I started making a set of pretty pajamas. I’ve moved from the muslin fabric stage to the wearable muslin in a more pajama like fabric, but it’s not a silky pajama fabric, it’s a lining fabric. It’s all I had. So far, I’ve found 3 things I need to change in the pattern so I’m scrapping the lining muslin and going to go for a silky pajama fabric. I’m hoping to head out early for my appointment to stop in at JoAnns and pick up some better fabric and needles. I’m grateful that I even feel like going fabric shopping.
While I deal with these late-in-life issues of aging, life begins anew elsewhere. My eldest granddaughter had her baby last Tuesday on the 12th, a little boy, Angelo Giovanni. I’m a great-grandmother now. Surreal! I need to go see him.
RD wants to take me to sushi tonight in lieu of flowers for Valentines Day. I may need a nap before we go. I have a big day ahead. First there’s just the ginormous effort required for getting up out of bed….